Love or more specifically the lack of self-love lies at the root of the vast majority of neuroses and unhappiness that afflicts us in our lives. When you feel anxiety, depression, hopelessness, procrastination, fear of the future, even addictions and aversions point to an underlying belief that ‘I am not enough’ ; I’m not old enough, young enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, rich enough, whatever enough (to get what I want. As you convince yourself that you don’t deserve what you desire, you unconsciously sabotage yourself, so that even if you’re doing all the right things and taking the right actions, so often you find yourself falling on your face. Does this sound familiar?
In Eckhart Tolle’s the Power of Now, he asks if you’ve ever seen “an unhappy flower or a stressed oak tree? Have you come across a depressed dolphin, a frog that has a problem with self-esteem, a cat that cannot relax, or a bird that carries hatred and resentment?” He notes that only humans and animals that live in close contact with us show signs of typical human neurotic behaviour – insanity of the mind.
In spite of what many of us were told as children, loving yourself is not a sign of arrogance or self-importance. I had a massive aha moment as I read in Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now years ago when a person appears egotistical and condescending, their state of mind is fundamentally no different from the person hiding in the corner crying into her coffee with the constant mental message that she’s not good enough’. When you truly know your own value, there is no desire or need to push this on others, there is just a knowing, an inner confidence, a powerful presence that goes beyond the need for pride, condensation or arrogance. Self-love is therefore an expression of respect, appreciation and care for ourselves and by extension for life itself and all creation. Self-Esteem is the Key to changing our lives, releasing our desire to hide to finally show ourselves and bring our gifts out into the world.
Children are born with deeply held self-esteem. Unfortunately as we develop to adulthood this self-love can become diluted as we come to believe that we somehow are defective and unworthy and we forget how we are essential sparks of creation, without which all that is can no longer be ‘all that is’. You are needed, you are important. You make a difference, just by being, just by being yourself.
So how do we change this? First of all, know that the answer lies inside you. The answer lies in being here and now, rather than off in the past with guilt, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness and other forms of nonforgiveness. Don’t look for peace, or any state other than the one you are in now. If you’re not feeling at peace now, forgive yourself for that. When you fully accept your feelings fully, rather than making them wrong and trying to resist them, that’s when your non-peace can be transmuted into peace. This is the miracle of surrender.
One way of falling into this space is through affirmations, which can be intensified through movement in the body at the same time. This, in Kundalini Yoga, is called Celestial Communication, because, as we move our bodies, as well as communicating with our physical mind, we can also tune in to our higher power to communicate with the truth bigger than us as individuals whatever that means for you.
Check out the video and follow along: This meditation really helped me through some difficult periods.
Here’s the mantra
I am the light of the soul
I am bountiful
I am beautiful
I am bliss
I am, I am
I’m also running a workshop on the 16th November, Open to Self Love and your Purpose , This coming Wednesday where we’ll be going into the topic in more detail, doing some more yoga and meditations as well as working specifically on releasing specific belief systems holding you back from owing your power and shining your light into the world.
With Love, Passion and Purpose