We’ve all heard the old proverb, ‘The Devil you know is better than the one you don’t” and even if we do everything to avoid fearful situations, life often has a way of forcing us into uncomfortable situations Right now, for example, is a time of massive change, both collectively(with Brexit etc) and also on an individual level as people find themselves faced with sometimes overwhelming changes in politics, relationships, house moves and career.
Fear of Change
The fear of change is actually a really natural thing. The human brain likes information it understand and is familiar with and dislikes what it doesn’t know, and this has kept our species safe in times of danger, like when being pursued by a . When faced with dramatic change we can experience huge anxiety, panic and worry about the future. Many people dread change because of an ingrained fear of anything bad happening to them. What they don’t realize here though, is that by avoiding change, they are also stifling the possibility of ‘good things’ happening in their lives. Bad things and good things are going to happen either way, no matter what path you take in life.
You may hate your job and feel super stressed out when you think of it, but the thought of leaving and falling into uncertainty leaves you a quivering mass of anxiety and panic.
But change is actually a sign of life and is a good thing, helping us to grow, stretching us and exposing us and exposing us to new things. Without change and growth, we are, in effect dying. It is the only constant in life (along with death and taxes) and everyone who has done anything unique in their life was probably terrified much of the time as not even success immunizes from fear, it just expands our capacity to choose our destiny and live in alignment with our desires, rather than having our lives run by it.
I. Don’t listen to all the voices in your head
Watch and see whether what that negative voice is saying is truly helpful, good advice or neurotic. If you’re having difficulty with this and find yourself freaking out over a situation try this little 3 minute breath meditation. Know that there’s always a higher way of dealing with it instead of going into reaction. Rather than fearing the outcome of whatever decision you make, know that there really is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision anyway. The world afterall is a place of infinite opportunity, learning and growth, no matter what avenue you choose.
“I can’t lose – regardless of the outcome of the decision I make. The world is a place for opportunity, and I look forward to the opportunities for learning and growing that either pathway gives me.” Susan Jeffers
Also keep in mind that the familiar comfort zone is the logical safe area in a person’s life. While going beyond this area can definitely be uncomfortable for many people, when we stay in our comfort area because they can’t stand the uncertainty of doing something we’re not used to, we severely limit our growth and can even start feeling more and more stuck in our lives.
II. Look the fear Right in the eye
One way of dealing with these kind of stuckness and fears of change is to is to look at what the worst thing that could happen is. What is it that you’re really afraid of? Usually the thing we think we’re afraid of is actually not it. For example, if we’re afraid of losing a relationship, the real underlying fear could be a fear of losing connection and never being loved again. The one thing to recognize here, is that you can’t have a feeling of fear (or indeed any feeling) without defining something to be true first. So ask the feeling what belief system you would have to buy into in order to feel this way. Maybe you feel that you’re incapable or no good and dealing with those beliefs is the way to move you forward.
III. Decide to be Decisive
The thing that often makes us confused and anxious in when we look into the future and think about all the dreaded things that could happen. We think that by sitting on the fence the answer will suddenly pop into our head, or maybe you tread ungracefully back and forth from yes and no positions and you can’t seem to settle with one answer. Trust me, having done this myself over many years and months, I can tell you that this is a long and painful route to insanity.
The thing to remember when you’re feeling that panic and anxiety with heart palpitations is that anxiety and panic is actually the same energy as excitement, but you’re just running it through different belief systems. If you’re feeling anxiety you’re in a panic about a lack of safety as the mind struggles to see about what needs to be done to make things all right.
If you fail to make a decision you end up settling for whatever floats your way. It seems less scary that way. The truth is that this is a far more frightening way to live because you don’t have the feeling of being in control of what happens to you and you live in fear of what might happen. So, recognize that you’ll never have all the information and have the confidence and faith to do what’s needed This will give you a sense of control and ultimately it will also provide you with a life full of purpose and joy. And isn’t that really what we’re all trying to achieve? Like Oscar Wilde said ‘things will be alright in the end, and if it’s not alright now, it’s because it’s not the end’ so…
IV. Just do it: YES, Take Action
The truth is that the answer does not usually come to us in a vision or dream or in a flash of insight. Sometimes we just need to take action, as it is action and not decision that is the antidote to fear. Just take one little step forward. It doesn’t matter if you’re not sure, you can always step back again later if it doesn’t work out, but the key here is to DO something. Once you do this you can start seeing the reality of the situation rather than your dark imaginings and a huge weight will be lifted from your shoulders.
“You will never change your life until you change something you do daily.”
– Mike Murdock
So yes, in conclusion, change and the unknown is scary. It trawls with it a raft of other fears, the fear of disappointment, rejection and loss. But in truth, fear only has as much power over you as you choose to give it. Fear is an unavoidable truth of the human experience that not even success can inoculate us against. However, change is our basic nature and the intrinsic unfolding of our lives is intrinsically lined up with how we view change. We’re conditioned to try to fix things so we don’t feel fear, but as we resist it, we end up in a hopeless battle with life and with ourselves. When we learn to accept, embrace and allow change to fall through us rather than trying to avoid it, that is when life truly becomes the precious gift that it is meant to be. Life is too short and far too precious to waste time going through the safe motions distracting us from what really makes us come alive.
‘Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall’. – Confucius
If you find yourself freaking out about change check out my video which goes through a really quick breath technique which will help in 3 minutes flat.
Are you feeling trapped in uncertainty, indecision and doubt?
Are you freaking out about where you are in your life?
Do you know that you have something bigger to offer the world?
Are you ready to discover your gift and get it out into the world?
If you’re ready to take the next step and face the fears for a limited period I’m offering free, no obligation Life Purpose Energy Scans to uncover the top 3 emotional blocks holding you back from a life of Passion, Purpose and Joy. Click here to book your slot now: